One Man, Two Futures
The spotlight’s on the next generation—but this message is for the men who know they’re still fighting the same addiction.
▶️ PRESS PLAY - Listen while you scroll around Substack or follow along
A letter to the men trying to do better—while stuck in the scroll themselves.
I’ve looked down when I should’ve looked up. You’re not alone.
Forget willpower. What you need is a mission.
Quit escaping. Start building.
You’re not the problem—but you are the answer.
If you’re tired of being tired, it starts here, my friend.
(Want the answer? Skip to the end section titled Ultimate Action — but if you’ve got five minutes, this might just shift something.)
Let’s be real — I’m not writing this from some high ground. I’m in it too sometimes. I’ve lost hours to the doom scroll — probably years if we compound the hours, drawn into the fog, watched the men around me do the same. I’ve seen us hand phones, iPads to kids like pacifiers, while barely looking up ourselves. I’ve been guilty of this.
Look…
This isn’t about the shame n blame game, that game has no winners. It’s about awareness. And it starts with you.
We say it’s the kids who can’t cope with screen time — but what about you.. me— all of us?
“Blue Crystal: Why Are We Letting Kids Mainline Digital Crack?”
That’s what this is. And if you think it’s just a kid problem, think again.
Let’s be honest:
we’ve normalised social media for kids. We all know it’s not good for us as adults. The doom scroll is real. The endless digital slot machine, the “crack-a-demic” — it’s poison. We’re emotionally hung over after every scroll, and we know it. Our whole worldview gets warped, all depending on how we’re feeling that day.
Let me ask you:
have you ever finished a two-hour doom scroll session, put your phone down, stretched your arms out, looked up at the sky, taken a deep breath, and felt alive? Elated, buzzing with joy and clarity, like after a killer workout, a good laugh with your mates, a swim at the beach, or a walk in the sun?
Of course not.
Scrolling your phone isn’t supposed to compare to a workout — any more than a workout compares to eating dinner. But let’s be honest about what it is,
and what it isn’t.
Here’s the truth: we know it’s not healthy. We know it’s not safe for young minds. Kids aren’t equipped to handle digital crack. That’s just a fact.
Their self-esteem is still under construction, and the feedback loop they need is real-world stuff like: sport, play, actual activities with other humans that builds confidence and competence.
Not likes and follows.
So what’s the solution?
Simple: create an environment where self-esteem can grow and nurture it,
That’s it.
We make choices in line with the person we see ourselves as — but that’s tricky if you’re a kid and you’re not actually developing your mind through real work, sport, or play. That feedback loop really matters.
Here’s what I suggest:
• Bring awareness to your phone use.
• Notice how you feel after a session.
• Make workouts or some kind of real-world activity compulsory in exchange for phone time.
Compare the two.
Pay attention to how you feel after sports training — energised, alive, connected. Now compare that to the digital emotional hangover after doom scrolling.
Seems obvious, silly to even say it — I get it. Everyone is saying it.. but just hang in there with me.
Don’t demonise the phone; it’s just a tool.
The human condition is the issue, and protecting the next generation is key.
This isn’t new.
Strong, healthy self-esteem leads to better choices. Simple.
Kids with self-worth use tools — they don’t get used by them.
We know the risks, the impact, and our own digital struggles.
Doom scrolling is self-medication, emotional doping.
It’s so normal, but it keeps us far from our best selves. We’re training ourselves to lose focus, to avoid knowing ourselves. We say we don’t have time, but we find two hours a day to sit hunched over a screen like a pigeon on a bin.
And let’s be real — it’s not just mental. It’s physical too.
Recent studies tracking nearly half a million people over 13 years show a 34% higher risk of dying from heart disease in people who spend most of their workday sitting.That’s real. That’s not some made-up stat — it’s long-term, large-scale research.
Sitting still for most of the day increases your risk of dying from anything by 16%.
And we can’t now think sitting and doom scrolling for hours is harmless?
I look around at the men — sitting, hunched, addicted, lost, with the most powerful device in human history.
Pause and please just consider that perspective.
Imagine if I’d handed this device to someone in 1998 and said:
“Here you go. What are you going to do with it?”
What would they say?
“I’d spend hours a day doom scrolling Games TikTok The Gram, poking at it like a brainless bin chicken, hunched over, only stopping when I’m starving or need the toilet.”
Insane, right?
Then with the phone straight to the dinner table from the toilet. Gross.
But that’s normal now.
That’s what I see.
We have the freedom to choose to grow, learn, and develop. Like never before.
Yet the digital crack has us hooked.
Our ancestors hunted with spears.
We’ve got satellites, neural nets, and infinite knowledge —
and we’re smashing out doom-scrolling marathons daily.
Holding the future in your palm, and using it to escape the present —
that’s the tragedy of 2025.
We’ve got a godlike supercomputer in our hands…
and we’re using it like cavemen.
What Now? One Small Shift.
Look — I’m not saying throw your phone in the ocean.
That’s not real life.
But here’s something easy that is:
Set a 60-minute “Real Life Window” every day.
No phone. No scroll. Just one block of time to move, make, or connect.
Walk. Train. Cook. Stretch. Play with your kid. Call your brother.
Stack that time with something real, something alive.
Then notice how you feel after — and compare it to the scroll.
The Ultimate Action
The ultimate action is this:
Get serious about a passionate project.
Find your mission.
When you have a business to build, a dream career, family or personal goal so big it consumes your time, energy, and resources — guess what?
No time for the doom scroll.
No time for digital blue-light crystal crack-a-demic habits.
None.
That means no bullshit temporary fix called a Digital Detox.
That’s been my experience — and I’ve done an entire 1 ½ years without one single digital device or socials of any kind.
I know: digital detox is temporary.
Ultimate move is: find your mission.
This works best with a Tactical Lifestyle System — something I’ve been working on for a couple years now through trial and error. Use a system to support the mission.
I’ve done the hard work for you.
Make sure you keep following and stay connected — either on subscription or at least on the socials.
I know, what a contradiction… right?
But remember:
Use the tools, don’t get used by them.
So keep in touch — because when I launch the Tactical Lifestyle Systems, you’ll be able to use it free to function at your best:
• Boost your energy.
• Smash your training.
• Get and stay in shape.
• Develop Resilience.
• Seriously Stronger Mindset.
• Stop Burn Out.
All while showing up for those you love the most — and for yourself.
That’s it. That’s the whole thing.
No shame. No extremes. Just one shift.
If you feel clearer, more grounded, more like you —
That’s your proof. That’s your path.
Go find your mission.
We don’t need perfect days.
We need repeated moments of power.
And brother — you’ve got that in you.
Whats your Mission Lets GO!
Johnny Trayes.
Voice to Inspire | Mentoro
COMING SOON
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